Seeing Without Blaming
For a long time, I thought I’d already faced my childhood. My father was an alcoholic. There was chaos, unpredictability, and some violence. I witnessed things no child should have to witness. My mother and father were both emotionally remote, unavailable in ways I didn’t yet know how to name. Those were the obvious wounds […]
How Survival Patterns Take Root
No one chooses their patterns.We don’t sit down one day and decide to become hypervigilant, controlling, avoidant, or numb.Our systems simply learn what keeps us safe — and then they don’t stop doing it. That’s how survival becomes structure.It’s not dramatic or sudden. It’s subtle, steady, and deeply intelligent.The body, mind, and spirit adapt to […]
Trauma Assessment Tools: Checklists
Checklists can bring a sense of comfort. But they also have limits. There’s something reassuring about a checklist. When life has felt confusing, unpredictable, or painful, a list of boxes to tick can feel like order. It gives form to something that has lived too long in the shadows—an experience that never quite made sense. […]
Regulation First: Building a Stable Baseline
Before deep work, give your body something it can trust every day. Not a marathon—a steady setting you can return to. When your system is “calm enough,” everything else works better: sleep, digestion, focus, boundaries, therapy, conversations. Regulation isn’t the finish line; it’s the ground you stand on. Why baseline beats breakthroughs Big cathartic moments […]