Through the Darkness: Why Facing the Shadows Changes Everything
I have been watching a Korean series called “Through the Darkness.” It tracks one of the earliest criminal profilers from South Korea as he develops insight into the minds of serial killers. He must enter some very dark places in his work—both inside his own psyche and those of the people he’s studying. Most striking […]
The Missing Link: How Trauma Theory Completes the Daoist View of Emotional Imbalance
For almost 25 years, I ‘ve been studying the Daoist healing arts and Chinese medicine. For most of that period, I’ve felt this persistent sense that things didn’t add up. It’s a fantastic system. Ancient, graceful, and intuitive. Its depth still astounds me as it charts the human experience. Still, there has been one thing—this […]
How to Use Yin-Yang Theory for Self-Assessment: Are You Running Hot or Cold?
Let’s begin with something easy: Are you constantly chilly? Or do you sweat like mad and heat up quickly even when it’s not really warm outside? Many individuals are unaware that these tiny idiosyncrasies reveal much about what is happening inside them. In the Daoist healing arts, they’re signals rather than something random. They’re hints […]
Why Did They Always Pick Me? A Personal Reflection on Bullying and Childhood Trauma
One question that has tormented me most of my life is: Why do bullies always seem to find me? Much as I hate to admit it, I’ve been on both sides of bullying equation. But the victim aspect is more profound. That formed me more. It remains in my body. My brother bullied me at […]
We Learn Who We Are by Watching the People Who Raised Us
Most of us don’t understand this until far too late in life: We learn how to be human by watching other humans. Not from class.Not from literature.From our mother and father. Or whomever brought us up. Nobody is born understanding how to handle strong emotions.Or how to request what we need.Or how to say “no” […]
How Childhood Complex Trauma Warps Your Mind—And Your Sense of Who You Are
Have you ever wondered, “What’s wrong with me?” Not just once in a while, but like… all the time. You have this low-key (or not-so-low-key) feeling that you’re screwing everything up or that you’re not really who others believe you are even when things are officially going well—your job’s good, people seem to like you, […]
Finding Harmony: The Daoist Path to Inner Peace
Let’s be honest for a moment. If you’ve been through a lot—especially the sort of deep emotional turmoil that results from a difficult childhood—inner calm may seem like some sort of cosmic joke. Sure, that’s for monks or people who had stable parents, not for people like us. Daoist philosophy has taught me, however, that […]
Why Attachment Is Central to Understanding Childhood Complex Trauma
Let’s face it: when most people hear the word trauma, they picture something large and obvious. Physical abuse. Yelling battles. Terrifying occurrences. But the reality? Some of the worst wounds come from the things that didn’t happen—the hugs that never came, the protection that never existed, the consolation that was never delivered when we were […]
What Are Regulation Disruptions (And Why They’re at the Core of Childhood Complex Trauma)
Ever had one of those days when your heart races nonstop and you have no idea why? Or maybe you find yourself spiraling out from something that seems little and absolutely controllable to everyone else. Alternatively you might just feel flat, as though you’re not really here. To exacerbate things, you then start asking: “What […]
What Is Resilience (Really)?
Let’s discuss resilience. This is one of those terms people toss around a lot, especially in the field of trauma healing. They’ll say something like: “Wow, you really are quite resilient.”“You just have to be resilient.”“Children are really resilient.” And quite honestly? It makes me to want to scream sometimes. The truth is, most people […]