What Are Regulation Disruptions (And Why They’re at the Core of Childhood Complex Trauma)
Ever had one of those days when your heart races nonstop and you have no idea why? Or maybe you find yourself spiraling out from something that seems little and absolutely controllable to everyone else. Alternatively you might just feel flat, as though you’re not really here. To exacerbate things, you then start asking: “What […]
What Is Resilience (Really)?
Let’s discuss resilience. This is one of those terms people toss around a lot, especially in the field of trauma healing. They’ll say something like: “Wow, you really are quite resilient.”“You just have to be resilient.”“Children are really resilient.” And quite honestly? It makes me to want to scream sometimes. The truth is, most people […]
What Does Wellness Really Mean? A Daoist Perspective on Health and Balance
When most people think of wellness, they imagine things like eating organic kale, visiting the gym, or downloading yet another meditation app they’ll use twice before forgetting about it. Western society often defines wellness as following a list: get enough steps, drink enough water, control stress, and you’ll be “healthy.” But Daoism adopts a completely […]
Why Childhood Complex Trauma Is So Hard to See (And Even Harder to Talk About)
Ever had one of those conversations when someone offers an idea that utterly misses the mark? Someone commented, “You should write about how kids were impacted by the COVID lockdowns,” after reading one of my pieces the other day. And I completely understand their concern. People want to discuss topics they believe are pertinent. But […]
Self-Assessment in Daoist Healing: How to Tune Into Your Body’s Signals
Most of us are, quite honestly, wandering about completely disconnected from our bodies. We’re so busy checking notifications, grinding through the day, and managing obligations that we hardly see what’s happening inside us until something really bad occurs. By the time we get a headache, a sudden surge of tiredness, or a strange tightness in […]
Could Your Anxiety Be Connected to Childhood Adversity?
Anxiety is a beast. It clutches your gut, sits on your chest like a weight, or causes your imagination to flood with worst-case scenarios at the worst possible times. Perhaps you’ve coped with it for as long as you can remember. Perhaps you’ve discovered how to operate in spite of it—white-knuckling through the day, busying […]
What Is Agency? A Fundamental Concept for Understanding Trauma and Healing
Let’s discuss agency; it’s one of those topics that, once you grasp it, changes how you’ll perceive everything. Agency is fundamentally your capacity for free will and meaningful action in your own life. It’s the reason you feel in control of your own direction. Because life is chaos, it doesn’t give you control over everything; […]
Escaping the Trap of Learned Helplessness: A Way Forward for Trauma Survivors
For those of us actively working toward healing, there will eventually arrive a point when the depth of our scars becomes painfully clear. Years—sometimes decades—of wearing the masks of confidence, competence, or control as we negotiate life suddenly reveals how much fear, anxiety, and impotence have been guiding us all along. Many trauma survivors find […]
Why Do I Push People Away? Understanding One of the Hidden Impacts of Childhood Adversity
I’ve spent years yearning for actual, closer relationships. Friendships with a genuine sense of safety. Relationships that allowed me to be totally myself. Still, I’ve continued to push folks away somehow. To keep them at arm’s length. I never intended for this to happen. It just did. Someone would reach out, and I would hesitate. […]
Mapping Trauma Impacts onto the Daoist Body-Mind-Spirit Model
Let’s discuss something many trauma survivors deal with: trying to figure out just what the hell is actually happening to them. If you’ve been exploring trauma recovery for a while you’ve likely come across the Western answer to this question. In this model, everything is reduced to tidy little categories: psychological problems, nervous system dysregulation, […]