Regulation Disruptions: Living in a Body That Won’t Settle
Some people live in a body that never quite relaxes. There’s always a low-level current running underneath — tightness in the muscles, tension in the jaw, shallow breathing, the sense of being “on” even when nothing’s happening. Others live on the opposite end of the spectrum — heavy, tired, detached, moving through life as if […]
Maybe Depression Isn’t a Disease — It’s the Weight of What You Survived
Living with the aftershocks of childhood complex trauma (CCT) makes it simple to believe you’re depressed. You feel trapped. Unmotivated. Heavy. Sometimes hopeless. When you consider the usual lists of “depression symptoms,” they seem painfully familiar: One is tempted to accept the narrative we’ve all been told: that these symptoms indicate a chemical imbalance. That […]
What Are Regulation Disruptions (And Why They’re at the Core of Childhood Complex Trauma)
Ever had one of those days when your heart races nonstop and you have no idea why? Or maybe you find yourself spiraling out from something that seems little and absolutely controllable to everyone else. Alternatively you might just feel flat, as though you’re not really here. To exacerbate things, you then start asking: “What […]
Could Your Anxiety Be Connected to Childhood Adversity?
Anxiety is a beast. It clutches your gut, sits on your chest like a weight, or causes your imagination to flood with worst-case scenarios at the worst possible times. Perhaps you’ve coped with it for as long as you can remember. Perhaps you’ve discovered how to operate in spite of it—white-knuckling through the day, busying […]
When Life Isn’t a Crisis: Hypervigilance, Emptiness, and Learning to Feel Safe
I’ve been in pretty much a continual state of scanning for threats, hazards, or the next catastrophe for the greater part of my life. Rarely was it a deliberate or conscious process, and it was often even below perception. But it was simply how my brain operated. My nervous system was set to anticipate threat, […]