When Being Yourself Wasn’t Safe: How Relational Trauma Teaches Self-Rejection
One of the most agonizing and ignored effects of childhood complex trauma is the quiet, insidious way it teaches you to reject your identity, to reject who you are. Not by violence or explosive outbursts but by little, consistent messages that who you are is somehow wrong. Overly sensitive. Overly emotional. Overly needy. Excessive. Or […]
What Is Relational Trauma? Why It’s So Hard to See—And So Important to Name
Most people’s idea of trauma is of large, dramatic events. A natural disaster. An accident. A furious outburst. Something clear, urgent, and intense. But for many of us—especially those of us dealing with the long-term consequences of childhood complex trauma—our trauma wasn’t any of those things. No one struck us. Or they might have, but […]
Why Did They Always Pick Me? A Personal Reflection on Bullying and Childhood Trauma
One question that has tormented me most of my life is: Why do bullies always seem to find me? Much as I hate to admit it, I’ve been on both sides of bullying equation. But the victim aspect is more profound. That formed me more. It remains in my body. My brother bullied me at […]
Why Do I Push People Away? Understanding One of the Hidden Impacts of Childhood Adversity
I’ve spent years yearning for actual, closer relationships. Friendships with a genuine sense of safety. Relationships that allowed me to be totally myself. Still, I’ve continued to push folks away somehow. To keep them at arm’s length. I never intended for this to happen. It just did. Someone would reach out, and I would hesitate. […]