Why Did They Always Pick Me? A Personal Reflection on Bullying and Childhood Trauma
One question that has tormented me most of my life is: Why do bullies always seem to find me? Much as I hate to admit it, I’ve been on both sides of bullying equation. But the victim aspect is more profound. That formed me more. It remains in my body. My brother bullied me at […]
We Learn Who We Are by Watching the People Who Raised Us
Most of us don’t understand this until far too late in life: We learn how to be human by watching other humans. Not from class.Not from literature.From our mother and father. Or whomever brought us up. Nobody is born understanding how to handle strong emotions.Or how to request what we need.Or how to say “no” […]
How Childhood Complex Trauma Warps Your Mind—And Your Sense of Who You Are
Have you ever wondered, “What’s wrong with me?” Not just once in a while, but like… all the time. You have this low-key (or not-so-low-key) feeling that you’re screwing everything up or that you’re not really who others believe you are even when things are officially going well—your job’s good, people seem to like you, […]
Finding Harmony: The Daoist Path to Inner Peace
Let’s be honest for a moment. If you’ve been through a lot—especially the sort of deep emotional turmoil that results from a difficult childhood—inner calm may seem like some sort of cosmic joke. Sure, that’s for monks or people who had stable parents, not for people like us. Daoist philosophy has taught me, however, that […]
Why Attachment Is Central to Understanding Childhood Complex Trauma
Let’s face it: when most people hear the word trauma, they picture something large and obvious. Physical abuse. Yelling battles. Terrifying occurrences. But the reality? Some of the worst wounds come from the things that didn’t happen—the hugs that never came, the protection that never existed, the consolation that was never delivered when we were […]
What Are Regulation Disruptions (And Why They’re at the Core of Childhood Complex Trauma)
Ever had one of those days when your heart races nonstop and you have no idea why? Or maybe you find yourself spiraling out from something that seems little and absolutely controllable to everyone else. Alternatively you might just feel flat, as though you’re not really here. To exacerbate things, you then start asking: “What […]
What Is Resilience (Really)?
Let’s discuss resilience. This is one of those terms people toss around a lot, especially in the field of trauma healing. They’ll say something like: “Wow, you really are quite resilient.”“You just have to be resilient.”“Children are really resilient.” And quite honestly? It makes me to want to scream sometimes. The truth is, most people […]
What Does Wellness Really Mean? A Daoist Perspective on Health and Balance
When most people think of wellness, they imagine things like eating organic kale, visiting the gym, or downloading yet another meditation app they’ll use twice before forgetting about it. Western society often defines wellness as following a list: get enough steps, drink enough water, control stress, and you’ll be “healthy.” But Daoism adopts a completely […]
Why Childhood Complex Trauma Is So Hard to See (And Even Harder to Talk About)
Ever had one of those conversations when someone offers an idea that utterly misses the mark? Someone commented, “You should write about how kids were impacted by the COVID lockdowns,” after reading one of my pieces the other day. And I completely understand their concern. People want to discuss topics they believe are pertinent. But […]
Self-Assessment in Daoist Healing: How to Tune Into Your Body’s Signals
Most of us are, quite honestly, wandering about completely disconnected from our bodies. We’re so busy checking notifications, grinding through the day, and managing obligations that we hardly see what’s happening inside us until something really bad occurs. By the time we get a headache, a sudden surge of tiredness, or a strange tightness in […]