You agree to go somewhere you’re not sure you’ll enjoy.

A friend is driving. Before you leave, you ask what time they’re planning to come home.

“I don’t know. We’ll see.”

You hesitate. Once you’re there, leaving will mean asking them to leave too, finding another way home, or staying until they’re ready.

So you decide to take your own car.

Nothing else about the evening changes. It’s the same place, the same people, the same uncertainty about whether you’ll enjoy yourself. But when you arrive, you know you can leave whenever you want.

You don’t.

An hour passes. Then another. At some point you notice that you’ve stayed longer than you expected to.

Knowing you could leave made it easier to stay.

Sometimes having an exit changes the experience before you ever use it. You’re no longer deciding whether you can tolerate the whole evening. You can decide as the evening unfolds.

If there’s something you want to try but hesitate to enter because you don’t know how long you’ll have to stay with it, try making the ending clearer first.

Decide when you can leave, stop, or reconsider. Then you don’t have to promise yourself you’ll stay.

You only have to know that you can go.

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