I Thought They Knew Better

I wanted to study art.

When I told my parents, they asked what I planned to do with it.

“You need something you can actually make a living at.”

They weren’t trying to be cruel. They thought they were helping.

So I studied business.

Years later, I thought about opening a small shop with a friend. I was excited about it until I started telling people.

“That’s a big risk.”

“Do you really know enough about running a business?”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

I decided they were probably right.

There have been other things.

Jobs I didn’t apply for. Places I didn’t move. Relationships I stayed in longer than I wanted to.

I always had reasons.

Usually good ones.

A few months ago, someone asked me what I would do if I could make one decision without asking anyone else what they thought.

I couldn’t think of an answer.

I’ve spent so much of my life assuming other people knew better that I’m not sure anymore what I would have chosen.

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